Motivating children and kids to do what they should:
School is beginning and many of us wonder how to motivate our children and students to either do better in school, complete assignments on time, do homework without nudging etc. You get the picture.
The gist of motivation is that everyone gets inspired differently. You need to find out what it takes to get each child or adult motivated. For some children it can be a kind word yet others need some more.
To get people to do things they generally do not want to do can be tough. Many of us turn to rewards, bribery or punishment however that undermines our goal to get children to things on their own without us telling them to do so. That is because children will learn to do something based on the reward. In addition, the reward must always be available and at times it can get redundant and children will feel it is not worth the work for the reward anymore.
Such as, if you are giving a jelly each time they complete their homework, they can decide the effort involved in completing their homework is not worth the jelly or they are sick and tired of jellies! In addition, you must always have a jelly on hand to get them to do their homework. Is that worth it?
Thus the best way to motivate them is to give them the inner satisfaction for a completed job. Of course, it is simple to say that yet much harder to get the children and students there. However once they have the opportunity to taste the feeling of satisfaction, it will supersede the want for any physical reward, and will keep them motivated to go for some more of that feeling.
How can you give your child the feeling of inner satisfaction?
- Use your words– compliment, praise the effort the child put in. Say “I noticed you are trying really hard.” That will get them to try even harder. ” Wow, you just cleaned up your room..”. When a child feels they are being acknowledged and supported they feel a want to please.
- Understand where the child is coming from– If a child does not want to do their homework, ask yourself why. Is it because they do not understand the work or is it because they need some time for themselves to relax after a day at school. Once you understand and show some empathy, strategize with the child to see what you can do to make it easier to get the task completed. “What will help you do your homework better?” Child can say they need a quiet space to work and then figure out where to set up the child in a space that meets their requirements to do their homework.
- Give Feedback– when a child does something let them know how they did. “Look you finished your job early so now you have extra time to play.” Let them see for themselves the pros and cons of either doing or not doing their job on time. When you see a child did something positive – catch them doing something right, praise and acknowledge them. It is never too late to give positive feedback. ” Yesterday you made me so proud when you cleaned up the toys without me telling you to do so.”
Children want to please
Students and children alike want to please their parents and caregivers. When they see that their actions cause satisfaction for themselves and for those whom they love they would be more willing to continue doing the action that caused it.
Know that as a parent or educator you are capable for helping kids reach for the stars. Be careful to model proper behavior, motivation and watch your words!
” Use your words kindly and often, for you will see the fruits of your labor rather quickly.”